martes, 19 de agosto de 2008

There Is Nothing You Can Do That I Have Not Already Done To Myself

Last night someone dared to call me a liar, she refused to believe me and I couldn’t tell her how angry, stupid and funny misunderstanding was going on.

I did what I always do after the blue-eyed girl’s funeral: I tried to stay calmed to get my thoughts clear and say the perfect phrase.

I love it when you think you’re right and I don’t say a word, even knowing you’re wrong. It’s funnier to let you act like a cocky Wiseman than repeat how idiot you are again! It gives a whole new meaning to “humbleness”.

#47 was so mad at me… And she had no reason at all. She can’t see we’re not having a serious relationship… We’re just having a good time together (and by that I don’t mean we are having sex. She never wants!) and be good friends. We’ve made out a couple times, true, but I’m not her boyfriend.

She thinks I love her, when I just like her. I’m not of those guys who enjoy being chained to a woman, walking all day long together and sending cute text messages to each other. I’m the Library Stud. I’m better than that, I number women to choose witch of them are the hottest.

Anyway, I met #97 a couple weeks ago at the library; she has red curly hair, cool sense of humor and she is a great physical therapy student. The Ticket Machine gave me an almost perfect number that I had to check out and verify if her skills were good enough for my standards.

After five sessions and three dates, this new girl fell in love with me. She said I was handsome, funny, and sexy and all those nice things we all already know. When I noticed those stupid eyes accompanied with a silly lovely voice, I decided to tell her the truth.

“Here’s the thing… I like you, I really like you. But not in the same way you like me…” I told her with an unsure gesture on my face. I was pretty secure about what I was doing: preparing her to know we’d never get to a second level in a relationship, but when I saw her sad and desperate eyes my soul was touched!

“I really like you…. But… not in the same way you like me… because… I… love you! YES! That’s reason! I Love you more than myself! Well, not so much… But I love you!” I assured, even knowing I was going to regret it, I lied!

I hate when I can’t say “no”, that’s the reason why accept those few cigarettes from #30 and #07. “Pity” is a great feeling to help people. I just think I can help my friends by giving them always what they expect from me. I wish I could erase that imperfection.

However, I went to #47’s house. She was cleaning the living room, moving the furniture to take off the dust and forgetting she was cooking the dinner she promised me.

“Excuse for make you wait outside! My food was about to get burnt… Come in!” she said while she opened her main door.

“Don’t worry. All good things come to those who can wait” I replied with a happy voice. I love to see her smiling when I quote some movie phrase.

She went straight to the kitchen; I sat down in the couch to watch TV, a movie or anything instead of what I looked by my side one second after.

“Who is this guy, Honey?” I asked.

“What guy?” she answered as she approached.

“The owner of this ID. Who is he? I think I met him at college once… Maybe in other place… Well, is he friend of yours?”

Rarely, she got nervous and snatched the small white card I was holding. She told me he was #85’s brother. We quickly changed the subject and moved to the table. The dinner was very good; definitely #47’s cuisine is one of her better qualities.

We went to her bedroom to talk and, eventually, she suggested me to give her a massage. I’m too smart for this gray-eyed girl… She thought I would think she wanted to have sex, but I know her pretty well, so, I told her I would first.

She accepted the deal and took my shirt off, what I didn’t expect were those scratches #97 left the day before! And of course #47 started screaming, insulting and questioning who did that to me. She totally forgot we weren’t having a serious relationship!

“I don’t know you make so much drama about it! I didn’t say anything about that ID I found on the sofa!” I argued.

“That’s different! He’s not my friend and he won’t come again!” she yelled.

“And, how am I supposed to know you’re saying the truth!?”

“OK, now you’re the victim…! Well, as I’m the evil girl here. I’ll kick your ass if you don’t get out of my house in five seconds!”



“I’ll call you later then”


Just like that, #47 decided to take a break from our no-relationship, leaving me in the street with my scratches and my shirtless body…

It was late and cold, traveling half naked to my home in my motorcycle would be suicide! So, I called #30 to ask him if I could borrow one of his shirts. He lives near the gray-eyed girl’s house and I could arrive fast.

“Dude, you’re crazy!” my friend joked about my disgrace as he smoked, forming strange smog clouds. In fact, he laughed so hard that he spited enough saliva to extinguish his cigar!

I narrated him exactly what happened, every little detail and #30 got the best idea ever! We turned on #07’s computer while he was sleeping, to google the name printed in the ID from #47’s sofa! So we can know who that barely familiar guy is. I could use that information to blame the gray-eyed girl as the first cheater!

Thousands of images, web sites and news about that guy appeared in the screen. The man resulted to be famous, very famous. Plus, the police, the Red Cross and his family have been looking for him for more than a year!

“His friends and relatives expressed that he had been threaten several times by this man (watch photo above), but the lack of proofs prevent the authorities from accuse him for murder or kidnapping.

However, he was arrested until the primal investigations have been completed, affirmed one of the cops in charge of the case.” #30 read surprised from an article.

“Is that man from the photo--?”

“Yes, he’s #07” he interrupted me.

We couldn’t believe it; my friend’s cellmate said he was innocent. So, who killed the man from the ID? What was that ID doing on #47’s furniture? I phoned her but she didn’t answer.

“What do you think? Should we tell this to #07?” #30 asked me with that look of insecurity I had never seen on his eyes before.

“Not yet. I have to know the other side of the story. I’ll go to that girl’s house in the morning. We have to clear what happened... To be sure before calling… the police?”

“I guess… It’s not fair that #07 have gone to jail for a crime he didn’t commit. I know how that feels. We have to talk with her” he answered, and I agreed.

The clock marked the 2:03am. I decided to drink a few beers, maybe six, with my friend, also three, four or five cigars; we really needed alcohol after that shocking news.

I fell drunk on a bed. I dreamt I couldn’t sleep and when I finally closed my eyes I dreamed another thing about #85 and #47, holding loaded guns and aiming at me! I wanted to wake up but it was impossible! Shadows of many girls surrounded me, yelling in their thoughts and going through my head, as thousands of raindrops were launched from the thundering gray sky, but those weren’t wet, they were heavy, thin, and white and each one had a different number. One by one, the tickets got together to form a great sea were my body was going to sink. I fought, but it wasn’t enough… I let my body sink as a rock thrown in a lake, while lightning rays touched the paper waters, making them burn, melting my eyes and giving reasons to think about bullets, pistols and suicide as a better destiny than suffer that hell… But that wasn’t an option, and it wouldn’t matter if I’d had a gun, it was a dream, and dreams can’t be killed with bullets or poisoned with the deathlier venom… I was the only one able to save my soul and I couldn’t… The colors had faded away and the air was painful to breathe…

The sunlight is capable of frighten all of your fears, no matter how many nightmares you had before waking up, it’s always a blessing to see how the dark hides under your bed when the rays pass through the windows.

It’s a shame #30 had curtains in his bedroom… I had to wake up by myself. However, I was glad to be alive.

I heard once that God can speak his mind in many ways, maybe He warned me about how I live and what is waiting for me if I keep practicing this lifestyle… There are lots of things about me that have to change, but it’s so hard to avoid what you think is correct, and so painful to leave what you love, that makes me hesitate about taking that step… I wish it was easier…

But… What the hell! I cannot loose anything if I give it a try. I can do it well. I’m going to try it! I am ready to walk that step, and ask for #47’s forgiveness will be the perfect beginning. I’ll talk about the man in the ID later, when the storm have vanished from our non-relationship.

miércoles, 16 de julio de 2008

Have You Heard The News That You’re Dead?

Memories, visions, future and present. What’s time, anyway? Time tells me its 8:14pm. But, is it a place? Is it what happened? Is it a choice? Well, I can’t answer that. ‘Cause all I know about it is that I don’t have it. Time is dead to me… or am I whose life has been banished?

“Wh… at--What do you Th--ink?” some woman said, I couldn’t see her, rarely, my eyes were closed and I was lying down on the floor.

Then, a second feminine voice talked: “I don’t see any injuries… Maybe she was poisoned, like me”.

When I listened those last words my body started to move and a third woman approached: “You two, what are you watching? Who’s this little girl? Wake up, baby, how are you? Ignoring you’re dead… Right… Girl?”

The light came to me and I saw clouds, lots of them! An angel flew over me and I realize those strange ladies were correct! I was in Heaven!

One of the girls had a nice figure, odd wet clothes, wore dark sunglasses and talked weird because she had no tongue! The other chick seem pretty normal, she was dressed with an orange uniform; and the last one had beautiful blue eyes, if it weren’t for the huge hole she had in her head, she’d be the sexiest one!

“Why did I die!?” I asked while I got up from the white cotton floor.

“Relax, you’ll remember in a few minutes. The same thing happened to me. Hi, my name is #54” said the girl with the orange outfit.

“#54? A number?” I questioned.
The chick explained their uncommon nicknames; she also spoke about the reason why we were together: “We’re all here because of him. Look down, there! That boy in the library!” she exclaimed after creating a little circle in our gigantic cloud.

#93 tried to tell me something but she gave up when those spiting noises appeared… So, the girl with blue eyes (and a healthy tongue) cleared me up about the whole situation! The guy in front of the ticket machine led them straight to their death! My new friends didn’t do anything bad; in life, they were good with him! In fact, he was the villain in their stories!

“Now… You’re saying I’m here and it’s his entire fault?” I commented.
#54 continued the conversation: “I don’t know if he killed you or something, but I’m sure he’s involved in your sad ending… I bet you believed his stupid lies to steal your virginity too”

“Wow! Stop right now!” I replied! “You all slept with him!? How did you get to Heaven!?”

“Hey! I didn’t do that! Well… I did it… But with one of his friends!” confessed the blue eyed girl.

“Not even having sex with the Pope would give you a free pass to Heaven!”

“It hap—happens that Th-the Mormons were right!” said #93 in a very happy way because she could say something “We a-are in the Terrestrial King-Kingdom…! We ha-have a second chance to s-save our souls!”

I ignored that Mormon-thing, it was too bizarre! And I really wanted to know who I was and how I died! So, we kept watching the boy from the ticket machine to check if he really meets girls at the library to murder them after having sex with them!

“Look! He’s talking to that chick!” I manifested with joy, but #54 told me he could never pick her because that one was a lesbian and his friend! Anyway, she whispered something at him before left him alone; I think she was confused due to some problem… Her face wasn’t happy or sad, simply confused. Mmm… That feeling comes to my mind every once in a while. Would I be confused before dying? Why?

Minutes later, a girl from the library took a ticket that presented her “our guy”. She would be known as #76, she was ugly! Her eyes were too distant from each other! Then, we found out he just wanted someone easy to seduce in change of doing his homework!

Every time I thought he was going to make a good action, he did the opposite! He was selfish, stupid, but, God, so handsome… How could any woman suppose he would manipulate her!? He’s like cancer but worse! I’m starting to think he fooled me with a fake love promise and I believed him with my whole life.

It’s hard to think he has friends, he called one of them, she came quickly; according to the blue eyed corpse, that’s called #47, I loved how she was dressed with many colors that matched with her gray eyes! She deserves a better man!

“What’s that smell?” I asked.

“We’re d-dead, remember-r-r? That’s h-how r-rotten organs smell” replied #93 while she lifted her sunglasses to show me she had no eyes but lots of little green worms!

“Gross! Even though you’re right, that’s not what’s stinking… Is… IS”

And I fell on the floor, convulsing and scared because I remembered what happened to me three years ago. The guy from the library was related to me, but not with my death, he just had #85 as a friend, who suddenly appeared to launch with the other two.

Yes, the innocent handicap girl, I met her when she had both legs, could walk and even jump. In fact, we were classmates in that far high school.

She was a cheerleader and I wanted to be one. So, every morning I had to phone to wake her up, I bought her expensive skirts, belts or shirts in the weekends, and wrote every word the teacher pronounced because I had to create excellent summaries for her to study.

I gave my soul to become what my idol was, but instead of helping me, she pushed me away when she could. No matter how much effort I put on something, she had the talent to see the tiniest imperfection and let me know how great she would have done that.

One day, after a long night doing her homework and subsequently a little text message telling me she won’t go to classes, I took the new diamond belt I was going to give her, checked the big wood pieces in my room’s roof, and hanged myself…

“Dear Family:

I know you hate me for doing this, but not even God could help me to handle EVERYTHING…

Brother, I think you’re the only one who loves me… I hope you don’t forget me, ‘cause I will always have you in my heart. School is as bad as you described it, but Church wasn't any superior and I’m not strong as you are… Sorry… but there’s no reason to keep on living if I walk this world alone with a cheerleader who destroys the little things I like…

I wasn’t the daughter you needed. Mom, hope you get pregnant soon to replace me with the little boy you always wanted to raise.

Dad, I don't even know what to tell you... Things will be better if say "So long and good night" forever. I'm really sorry for letting you down.

Good bye, brother…”

Those were my famous last words… I wrote them behind #85’s homework… I guess she never got to read them, at least she had an accident. That makes me kind of happy. Karma does exist!

Someday, that damn cheerleader will die and the dead girls and I are going to make her have a hell of an eternity! Yeah!

jueves, 3 de julio de 2008

I lost my fear of falling; I'm taking back the life you stole

I’m the kind of person who likes to look for many opinions about some situation. I like to think about myself as some of those people who do things right. And I’m happy with that, because I do what many people would do in my place. But this time… This time I’m regretting what I did.

I don’t know why I started dating #30… Maybe my time with girls was over… Or I just felt to do it… Even the foulest idiot knows that I don’t like guys… But this battle was lost against one.

Love wasn’t the reason and he wasn’t my type… I mean, I’m a lesbian… Men have swinging organs I really don’t need to have my “happy hour”.

The last time I spent a night with one was years ago. He had a Greek God’s body, great skin than mine and an excellent lexicon! He used words so easily that he convinced me to drink five martinis, even knowing my top were three. That was a hell of a night and I’d prefer not to talk about the next day!

Anyway, having #30 as my boyfriend is quite annoying. He treats me like the little girl I’m not, buys me lovely princess clothes and forgets to leak my clitoris when we have sex.

Girls are way better than dudes. They know how to tell you the truth without being cocky, they touch you and, when you never expect it, you become a new person. They make you realize you’re not alone, they smile when you say jokes, they surprise you with the little things they do, they give you the hug you need and they dare to talk to you. Women are life, they are the reason why you’re here and they are the motive of your happiness.

Sincerely, why God created men first? To make them think they are bigger than we are? Because that’s the only reason I could forgive that to the Lord: “To make them THINK they are bigger than we are”.

We, girls, are stronger than boys.

Honestly, I don’t know how I let my feelings drove me to this… I don’t like guys… They are liars; they talk crap and say the nicest things to poison your body with martinis. Then, the next day you wake up in the beach… Feeling the sun burning your naked body and blood coming out from your cavities… You don’t know how many times they rapped you or how many people touched you while you were drunk… Not even one girl would do that to me.

#30 was just cool as a friend, now I’m sick of him. I have to break up with him, but the hardest part of this is destroying his heart… And that was what I wanted to repair in the first place.

He was alone, his ex girlfriend committed suicide in his own bedroom and he wasted two months of his life! Just because of me! How couldn’t I feel guilty!? The blue eyed girl pulled the trigger because I pushed her too much! She was desperate! She was going to have a child, she was kick out of her house and I just wanted her to tell the world she was lesbian!

I was so selfish… God knows I only wanted someone to share my life with… Maybe she was the wrong person… I shouldn’t steal my friend’s girlfriend…

Now I’m just faking everything in my way… I’m not the happy and funny girl I used to be. I walk different, I speak about stuff I never did and I’m dating with the genre I swore never hang out!

How can you take a bad choice without asking someone else!? I regret this situation so much!

If I don’t do something quickly I could end up like my ex. I have to come back from the dead! I'm taking back the life you stole!

After three hours, I got an idea. #30 and I were going to pick up his friend from jail, the one who won a parole. We weren’t in my house or his car, jail was a neutral place and he would have a friend to help him in his sadness.

“I don’t love you” he said while we where waiting outside the building!

“What!?” I replied with anger because I was going to break up with him first!

“You’re different… You’re not that sweet girl who visited me here.”

“I am what I am!”

“Yeah, but not what you used to be. You act like someone else. I don’t love you. Not anymore.”

“You knew it, right? You knew I was going to end this relationship once and for all!”

He walked a couple steps with silence. My blood was moving like never before. Then, #30 took out from his car the calendar I gave him for our anniversary; he proceeded to open it and showed to me.

“Why would you do this photo shoot if you're supposedly straight?” he questioned while he pointed the calendar

“You’re a guy! Any dude in this world would give anything to have a girlfriend who gives him a calendar with her naked body on it!” I argued

“Yeah! But when the world knew you as a lesbian, it’s really hard for me to think that you are heterosexual when you give me a book full of pictures with you and other girls making out. You’re still a lesbian and I don’t know why we began dating. Why did you lie to me!?”

“Because I wanted to clean the mess I made.”

“What? What are you saying?” he asked confused.

“I was… She did that because… I was…”

#30 got quite mad when I started hesitating, he didn’t know what I was going to confess but he felt he wasn’t prepared. He grabbed my arms, shacked me to pull the truth out off me and he really did it!

“Your dead girlfriend cheated on you with ME!”

The calendar fell on the floor.

“I visited you at jail ‘cause I felt guilty. You were there because of me… And I’m sorry about that but--”

“Shut up.” he interrupted me.

“I’m sorry…”

“I don’t want to see you anymore… We… We’re over. I’m done with you.” He said while he left me alone in front of the building.

So, I walk to the next bus station and the last thing I remember about him is that bad look he gave me while he and his friend from jail passed with his car in front of me. Everything wasn’t like I planed it… But I think… I’m free. I can be myself again…

martes, 17 de junio de 2008

This City Is Nothing But A House Of Wolves

What would happen if you were dying from a heart attack right now? Would you be worried about being almost dead or afraid to keep on living? Would you let yourself go in peace because you now you did everything the best you could do it in life or you’d be crying for leaving someone mad at you because you said or did something bad to that person? At least, I’m not even sure if I’d go to heaven… Thank God I’m going to church today!

It’s time to wear my fancy clothes, clean my black shoes and look for the little black Bible #47 gave me a few days ago. And yes, the gray eyed girl visited the ticket machine last Friday. We talked about college, I told her how I won a perfect score at this week’s test because my old teacher fled the city (a student threatened him with cutting his head if he didn’t give my classmate an “A” on that test), the mafia is the worst thing you could try to fight and my professor knew that. Not even the police could do something against those law breakers; it’d be stupid because some cops are open to free this kind of criminals for a few dollars. I think my teacher did the best for him, that student had a huge tattoo in one of his arms with the southern mafia logo on it…

However, the whole church started. Well dressed people kept entering the sacred placed even after I saw #47 at the main door. It was a nice building, they didn’t have those catholic paintings on the walls or that big bleeding Jesus that had always make me feel guilty! In fact, I met some people of my same age; the man who talked about “the last days of our world” was an excellent preacher and that last video they played on the screen accomplished its goal, because it really scared me!

“The day after God’s arrival is near! He shall come with no advice!” the fat preacher said, he took a little breath and continued. “That’s why you have to be prepared. Because he could claim his people in two months, in one week! Or even right n…--” then the Bible he had on his hands fell on the floor because he had disappeared! Two hundred people vanished in only one second; their fancy suits were lying on the floor, three men threw their fists against the closest thing to calm down and four ladies were crying. Yes, God came when anyone expected and those who had sinned were doomed. That video really scared me! So much that I decided to change, to reborn, to start a new life! Five days later I was doing the same things I’ve always done… I need to go to church (at least) once a week to remember I could go to hell if I don’t show any signs of holiness.

After service, #47 introduced me to her best friend, a cute blond girl with one fake plastic leg and a wheelchair. Immediately, she recognized me! She told me she had seen me at college’s library! That’s why she was so familiar to me.

“C’mon, give me a hug!” she said.

So, I did. Then she whispered at my ear some of the worst words someone could have told me in my entire life: “I now everything about the ticket machine. Don’t be afraid; just call me #85” the hug ended with her face smiling and me shacking! How did she know about that!? The gray eyed girl just watched a friendly gesture, she had no idea about my red metal friend; otherwise, the blond girl wouldn’t whisper that secret!

Anyway, #47 was there and I had to give a cool impression. So, we acted like that word exchange never happened because #85 decided to go to dinner with us. Obviously, I didn’t complaint! And as we ate, my knowledge about those girls grew quickly! They lived together and they moved to this city last year. One girl was extraordinary and the other one had one fake plastic leg. Oh, God! I had to report this to #30! It was impossible not to text that! So, I did!

Eventually, the gray eyed young lady went to the bathroom, alone, because her wheeled friend wanted to have a little chat with me.

“So… Do you like my dress?” the blond chick questioned.

“You know I’m not interested on a simple dress…” I replied while I took an almost empty glass with water to wet my throat.

“Ah… You mean… That whole game with the ticket machine? Well, I kind of like you and after several weeks following you, I’ve learned pretty much about your life”

My feet couldn’t stop moving, my hands were shacking again, so much, that I had to put the freaking glass on the table, I had to hide that. The only thing she had to watch was my mouth singing some rejection song or her friend dancing with me to the tune of her death. Meanwhile, a blond stocker was going to be erased from my plans.

“Was it a bad car accident or you were born like… that?” I asked, trying to make her upset.

She answered in less than a second; my inappropriate question was received as a sign of interest on her life! I love drama, but that story she told was science fiction! A man following her on a school bus trying to kill her and her friend… Yeah, right… And, by the way, I’m virgin… I hate when people recurs to a stupid lie to talk… Thank God #47 arrived just in time to save my ass!

“Oh, no! You’re talking about the accident again! You promised me you’d never tell someone about that again!” my gray eyed angel exclaimed as she sat down. We had a cool dinner before that, the food was great and I made them laugh. I know #85 pretended to smile… Her laugh sounded so forced and fake that I realized she’d be the worst girl on the Earth to have sex with!

The memorable moment of the night was the big fly that flew so fast that fell inside of #85’s drink, touched the wine and went up to air again to finish its trip between her lips! That was epic! Sadly, the little insect became crap the next day… We laughed so hard that it would sting!

The waiter came to our table to clean everything, #47 got up to help her friend out, but I’m a gentleman and I decided to help #85. I took the wheelchair, I tried to move it but it was stuck! So, I pulled stronger!

“MY LEG! WHERE’S MY LEG!?” the blonde girl yelled!

My face turned completely red when I watched that scene! A man and a waiter looking for a plastic leg under a table while a chick with weird multicolor eyes tranquilized her screaming handicap girl friend!

Oh, my God…! What a date! I really enjoyed it! That last thing was pretty weird… But I liked it! Not even #85 could ruin it and #47 was great. Those gray eyes drive me crazy! I need more of you, girl! And next time I’ll bring an extra leg!

lunes, 2 de junio de 2008

These Are The Stories Of Our Lives As Fictional As They May Seem!

We are used to have parties before we are born. Our parents had a celebration for their marriage, a fancy dinner to announce a pregnancy and a festivity in honor of their new child. At least that’s the order God would like things to happen… But we are used to party even after our birth.

The next day #30 went out of jail we had to celebrate! Girls, rock and condoms! They were all invited! Especially because he gained a lot of money for being accused about a crime he didn’t do! Cash, cash, cash!

I planned the party a week before my friend would be set free. So, I arranged some meetings with some girls I conveniently came to know at the library. They were twin sisters, double fun and so much fu… shh…! You know what else! Everything for my main dude! Their ticket numbers were #69 and #70! Mmm… Both sex positions! If you don’t know the second position it’s due to your lack of fun!

The girls were perfectly made! At least by a surgeon because I felt silicone the last time! But I don’t care… We, Men, are visual! I had enough to grab on them, that’s why they past my sexiness test. They were worthy.

Everything was fine. #30 loved the gifts I gave him, the twins liked his house and I was happy to revive all those crazy nights we used to have fun, but this time sun light was on! Like this or even hotter? Yeah, Hotter!

#69 was warming things up with a tongue friction on my pants and #70 drank the last martini served while she took off her tiny purple thing she called skirt. We were having a good time.

“Today could be the best day of your life…!” said the girl with the empty martini cup and a big smile on her face.

“Everyday out of jail is the best for me!” #30 answered.

“What!? Don’t tell me you are that guy from the news! Oh, boy… boy… BOY! I’m going home! You won’t kill me!”

“I didn’t do anything…!”

“YOU WON’T KILL ME!!” she exclaimed with a broken and angry voice while she picked up her clothes extremely fast! I was so confused! I couldn’t believe our cool night wasn’t that cool after all!

“Let’s go sister!”

“I don’t wanna leave! I think it’s hot to be with a man who’s been in jail… They learn dirty stuff there… Mmm…” #69 replied adding a bitchy look.

“Don’t stay here! He killed someone!”

“I was declared innocent…!” my friend argued.

“See! He didn’t murder anyone. You go… I’ll be here a lil’bit more”

And so, she did. #70 got out the house not only furious, but dizzy as well! While inside… A girl was shared by two dudes. Yes, the same girl at the same time but in two particular different ways… Wow… I’ll never forget that… And I’m so glad I did that. That proves there’s nothing more than friendship between #30 and me. We never crossed swords or even an “I want you” look. #21 was totally wrong! And talking about her… I haven’t heard anything about her recently. Is she OK? Bah… Who cares now! I got to open the third condom!

At the end, #30 finished the girl because I was exhausted. I didn’t know why but I really needed to get some sleep, at least one hour and that was everything I got! Because someone knocked the front door with a clumsy tune that woke me up.

A friendly girl with light skin and curly brown hair was standing in front of my naked body; only 4 centimeters of wood and metal were separating us. She was so cute that I didn’t notice when I opened a little glass window that let her watch my face clearly.

“Hey, good afternoon Mr.” she said.

“Hi… Hello…” I answered while I cleaned my eyes with one of my fingers to hide the bags I had under my pupils.

The pretty girl presented herself as a woman dedicated to serve the Almighty: Yes, God. She preached about someone that hasn’t a good relationship with me… I don’t know what I did to him but he always makes me fall when I got something I really like…

She had the same kind of iris the Greek goddess Athena has: gray eyes. Depending of where she looked, they changed of color! From gray to blue, then green and, finally, gray again! I was hypnotized! So much, I accepted to go to her church next Sunday! She gave me the address and we would meet there at 6 o’clock.

Before leaving, she lent me a Bible and dismissed with handshake through the little window. I followed her steps from the door to ascertain if she was going to invite the whole neighborhood, but she didn’t. Another girl on a wheelchair was waiting for her near the street to take a bus. I felt like I knew that second girl from somewhere else but I wasn’t sure…

Anyway, #69 left #30 and me alone because she had psychology class at night. So, we decided to go to eat some pizza to “La Calle”, a street with lots of bars, pizza places and libraries.

We chose a yellow and orange restaurant with cool music; it had three big TV’s and its logo everywhere. He bought a supreme pizza and I went for a Hawaiian, I don’t like pineapples but I like them in pizza. Weird, isn’t it?

We started talking about #21 because a girl that looked pretty much like her appeared on a Nelly Furtado video clip we were watching there. Maybe it was a prediction to future! The lesbian entered to the same restaurant we were in! Obviously, she sat with us.

“So, you’re finally here, with us” she said with little crumbs jumping out from her mouth.

“Like the old days” he answered.

I noticed something in their faces, like a mysterious joke. I think #30 doesn’t know #21 was the girl who made his ex a lesbian; we were having a happy dinner. Everything was cool.

Eventually, when our friend went to the ladies bathroom, he told me she visited him at jail once a week! I never saw her there! Why did anyone tell me before…? What a strange day… At least I got a date! See you at church, Gray eyed girl! By now, I’ll just try to finish my Hawaiian slice in peace… OH, DAMN! I HAVE A TEST TOMORROW!

lunes, 19 de mayo de 2008

My Cellmate's A Killer

It’s curious how we just stop sometimes to remember how we met some people, those embarrassing situations that made you want to disappear and that conversation with that person you never imagine will be your best friend. For example, I never expected to know coolest guy ever at prison!

Since he arrived to my cell, the lonely cage became a better place to live. We have lots of things in common, we didn’t like the food served in the alpha area, we were both accused for killing someone and we were innocent.

He was very shy and trembling the first night he spent here. His mouth was bleeding a little bit. Then I saw he was good looking and felt bad for him… That was a sign of what kind of welcome he received…

It was morning when talked the first time, he had his mouth shut… I don’t blame him… How couldn’t he being doing that? I know what they forced him to put inside his mouth last night… They did the same thing to me… Those corrupt cops let the other prisoners rape the new guys in exchange for a few dollars…

So, I told him I understood his situation… He kept in silence a little while before he said his name. I still didn’t know if I could trust him but I told him how some called me in prison: #07. He questioned about my nickname and I answered with another question: “Have you seen this cell’s number?” and we both laughed.

The days past and he taught me how to play poker with an old deck I had bellow my bed; I started his addiction to nicotine and together won many card games against other prisoners to get free smokes.

One day I tried to make a joke with a magic trick, I hid a cigar down my sleeve and acted as if he had it behind one of his ears but he hated it! I didn’t know what made him so mad but I never surprised him again…

This new cellmate resulted to be a great card player and we used that to win money to keep the cops away. He seemed to be happy about it but I knew he was just trying to survive this hell… That guy never admits it, but he wept when we where sleeping… He was innocent… Or at least, that’s what I thought.

Two months transformed us in cool friends, I was suffering my sentence and he was waiting the final announcement of his case. This young man was loosing his days at jail, he wasn’t having a bad time but happiness wasn’t the word that could explain his condition. That’s why I asked him what happened that night the police brought him to my almost empty room.

“Did she really kill herself?” I asked.

He was very sincere; I think he revealed all his secrets because we had a nice day with our cards. We were celebrating our several victories smoking and lying in our beds, we were tired but he talked anyway.

My cellmate started his story with something I had discovered a few days ago; he confirmed to me his aversion to surprises. He preferred to know everything to be prepared against any trouble. So, when his ex girlfriend came to his house that night to tell him she was going to have his son, he didn’t smile at all.

He let her in, my friend was kind of happy they were inside his house because he had control of everything there; from the impeccable white kitchen to pistol he had next to his bed on a pine wood table.

He told me she smelled like beer, she was depressed and needed the alcohol to be brave, what she didn’t expect was that those eleven tequila shots and three beers were going to cause her miserable end.

“I’d never believe this baby is mine! You know I broke up with you because you didn’t want sex! That baby needs to meet his real father, bitch. I always knew you were cheating on me” he said with his strong voice.

“How can you even say that? You were the one who fornicated in those orgies! I knew about those crazy parties you went and I didn’t say a word because I loved you and this is how you pay!?” she replied.

“Well… I know it was wrong but I thought you were with other guys! And your baby is the proof of that! I’m not the father!”

“C’mon… You know we were still fine two moths ago, be a man! Accept this kid is yours! Admit it as I confess I cheated on you”

“What? Idiot girl… That was the stupidest thing to say… You just sink yourself! That baby could be anyone’s semen”

“You are the stupid here... Because I had real sex with girls who could make me scream, not fags like you, boy!”

Then, my friend was full of anger and wanting to beat her up to make her scream as anyone had done it ‘till that moment. So, he grabbed her neck and threw her pregnant body over a bamboo table that would be broken seconds before in the living room. He knew that was wrong, so wrong that it felt good.

The poor girl dragged her body to the wall in order to stand up and escape from the mad guy who strangled her. However, the boy was quicker than her and he was sober.

My cellmate felt like crap, he was a failure as a man and he had to eliminate any proves of it. He took a pointed piece of broken bamboo to hit her but she skipped a bloody death and made it to the kitchen.

She was scared, desperate and crying, maybe because her parents forced her to leave the house and threatened her with calling the police if they see her blue eyes around in the house again, but mostly because she couldn’t find a single knife when her ex boyfriend approached.

Somehow, she took off a drawer from a cabinet and hit it against the boy’s head, making him fall dizzy, but not for long time. At least, that movement let her run to the second floor, she almost collapsed on the stairs but she carried on when he screamed.

My poker partner is very strong; he had no problem to be fine after that collision. Immediately, he raised a baseball bat he had near the stairs to punish the intruders.

The blue eyed girl looked herself inside the main bedroom. My cellmate heard she was there; sobbing, sick and vomiting noises were going out from that room.

“GET OUT, BITCH! I’M GONNA KILL YOU!” he kept yelling as he tried to knock down the door with his bat, especially when she shot a bullet through the wall in front of my friend.

The alcohol made her think weird thoughts, easy escapes and rare dreams… The ecstasy secretly put in her drink helped a little as well…

“OPEN THE DANM DOOR!” he said. Then, she did what he hated the most: Surprisingly, the lock was being opened and when he pushed the door she said with a funny voice: “Good-bye!”

Yes, my cellmate though for a second he was dead! But when he entered the bedroom, saw her agonizing body shacking on the floor, bleeding and staining his carpet with her blood. So, he moved the body outside the room, where there’s ceramic instead of fancy carpets…

The girl had a big hole in her head, even like that, my friend called the 911 line…

The police arrested him two months ago for a crime he didn’t do… Of course he just said she committed suicide because she used drugs and alcohol… All the mess was done by her drunken condition. He tried to help her when she locked herself inside the bedroom, that’s why the door was almost destroyed… Unfortunately, he couldn’t prevent the tragedy… That’s what he said to the judge and that’s why he left the prison yesterday...

Keep writing, don’t forget about me, dude. Come and visit your good friend #07. I still like to play poker with you.

lunes, 12 de mayo de 2008

It’s True, We All Get Together When We Bury Our Friends

Since my neurons can remember, I’ve always liked to visit places with someone else. It could be a little trip to the supermarket, a few steps to the neighbor’s store or even go to the second floor in my own house! But I enjoy spending my days accompanied rather than alone. That’s why I decided to look for a pretty girl in the library to go to the blue eyed girl's funeral.

It was tragic! Another funeral in the city! And I had nobody to go with! It was Tragic with a capital “T”!

So, I came to my red metal friend: The Ticket Machine! And it introduced me to #17, a girl with a beautiful face and money, but she had no boobs at all! Everything was fine; the only thing I had to do was look at her face all the time!

Anyway, we arrived to the funeral thanks to her dad’s black limousine. Everybody watched our appearance with envy, very open mouths and, somehow, #21 smiled when #17 saw her! They were friends, classmates and God knows what else because a hug like that in a funeral is not typical at all!

I didn’t say a word against that hot movement because it turned me on and I knew she was bisexual, her popularity was based on that! Lucky me!

Immediately, #21 started crying and #17 said she was sorry about the blue eyed girl, obviously she understood the whole situation. Then I remembered everything, with all the commotion about #30 been arrested I had forgotten the lesbian was dating the dead girl! Poor thing, I let her know how sorry I was and the ceremony began.

That funeral made think a lot of stuff, especially how depending on my way to treat people affects the amount of flowers that will have my headstone in the cemetery.

There are people who touch the depths of your soul and make you feel special, people who speak messages that appear to be dispatched from Heaven, people who make you smile, handsome journalists aged 17, people with addictive personalities that become the cigar of your fun, people you can call at 3 o'clock in the morning because you have a problem, people who by all these things you look obliged to like and love. Unfortunately, the blue eyed girl was not one of those people! Apparently, everybody was waiting anxiously to her death! See three people mourn for her death was like asking the Egypt's Sled Team won a competition! Only an obscenely fat boy with mental problems wept, without offenses, literally he had mental problems and was very, very fat!

It’s very probable that she was an embittered woman who complained about everything, selfish and capricious. Due to this funeral with little assistance, I have decided to treat people better, appreciate more what they do and respect their views. I would like to be surrounded by lots of crying people at my funeral.

May she rest in peace... I hope she can forgive me for my vocabulary in this black and boring party…

#21 was the only person with a sad face; she was so confused about her dead girlfriend that she had to leave the place… The blue eyed girl’s mother was quite relaxed and sad at the same time, and the corpse’s father wasn’t even present, I don’t know why but that was very weird… Maybe #30 had a good reason to kill her…

It’s good to know #87 is working to get #30 out of prison, that way I can know everything about this rare situation…

The coffin was being buried, #17 was holding my arm and then I heard that comment floating through the well dressed people: “Thank God that damn boy is eating crap at jail! He deserves it!”

Those thirteen words made me turn around, launch my fist against a man’s face and pay a dentist that I’ll never visit.

“What’s wrong with you, boy!?” said who seemed to be his wife. I looked and told her that he has no right to talk about my friend that way! We don’t even know if he killed her! He said to the newspaper he heard a shot and then the girl was gone! Maybe she committed suicide! We still don’t know! It was last night!

The blue eyed girl’s mother walked between us, she asked the man if he was fine because his mouth was bleeding. “Get out. Let my daughter rest in peace. Leave now and never come to me again” she said with the same hate face everyone had.

I fix my red tie and walked away from the cemetery. I felt bad about what I did… But I was still proud about it; I defended my friend as he would do it for me.

“I can’t believe you leave without me!” #17 said after followed me to the exit.

“What?” I replied

“You left me alone!”

“I’ve just been thrown out from a funeral because I punched a guy and you’re arguing why I left you there!?”

“Yes! How could you do that!? Everyone smirked to me!”

“You know what? Go to hell… I don’t care about you anymore. Get out of my way, don’t talk to me again and get your boobs done, they are too damn small…”

After that last comment, I jumped on my motorcycle and left the place… #17 did what I ordered and never said a word to me at college.

I need to clear my mind and choose better ticket numbers… That last one sucked…

Wait for me #30; I’ll give you a little visit at your new home…

viernes, 9 de mayo de 2008

18 year old girl murdered near the capital

An 18 year old girl was shot and murdered last night in a house near the capital, the man who reported the crime was arrested minutes after.

At 9 o’clock, the house’s owner called the paramedics because he heard several shots inside his bedroom.

“My ex girlfriend visited me to talk but she started screaming and locked herself inside my bedroom” he said.

According to the police, only one bullet hole was found in the murder scene and the girl’s body.

“We arrested the boy. He had his shirt covered with blood” said one of the officers that assisted to the crime scene.

The main and only suspect claims he didn’t kill the woman. He keeps a gun inside his room in case of emergency.

“I knocked the bedroom’s door several times because my ex locked herself inside, she was crying and screaming. Then I heard the shot” the suspect affirmed.

The crime scene investigators found strong signs of violence inside the house, especially in the kitchen, living room and the main bedroom.

The bedroom’s door showed recent punch marks. Inside the room, the carpet was covered with blood and one mirror in one of the walls was broken.

“I watched strange silhouettes fighting in the kitchen, so I called the police” commented one neighbor.

According to that neighbor, the couple was having a discussion about an affair, a woman and money.

This is the second crime in the city this year. For months ago, a female corpse was found far down the city’s lake.

Six days after hard searching, the murderer was reveal by the police when they arrested a 19 year old girl who had the corpse’s eyes on her refrigerator. The woman died by lethal injection eight weeks ago under a judge’s order.

jueves, 17 de abril de 2008

I wanna see what your insides look like; I bet you're not that pretty on the inside

Dear Diary:

Forgive me, I know I have a week without talking to you but I’ve been busy…

A great singer wrote some words that have so much sense to me. Those words told me: "Imagine there’s no Heaven above us, only sky; and no hell below us".

"Imagine all the people living for today, imagine there's no countries, nothing to kill or die for and no religion too".

I imagined all the people living life in peace, with no war, with happiness and beauty. People, who can walk, jump and run… Not people like me… A simple girl that even gods have erased from their memories…

My wheelchair can help me to go to places that otherwise I could not go, but a boy’s heart is not an option.

When you have no friends is very easy to focus on your studies, detect details and analyze people.

I like a pretty boy that’s always in the library meeting girls and taking their notebooks to get to know with them. I think he’s not happy, I believe he started doing that to forget some other girl but now it’s just a hobby.

Everyday after my math class, I go as quickly as possible to arrive to the library to take a ticket, hoping that he will have my number in his hand, waiting for him to steal my notebook and dreaming of someone that would like to spend a night with me… But I never made it…

I know his secret, I have a weapon to destroy him, but I got no one to tell about his dependence to the ticket machine.

Gossip isn’t funny when you’re alone…

However, I had an idea to have a conversation with my charming prince! I followed him to the library to know what ticket he would take, so, the next day I would pick the same ticket number and he would meet me!

I washed my blond hair, wear my greatest clothes and used the perfume Mama gave me for my birthday. Today, my love would see me!

At 13 o’clock, my wheelchair was already in the library and I was holding the ticket #85, the same number he selected yesterday. But he wasn’t there, the library-girl stared at me as if I was blocking the way, then I asked for some copies I didn’t need to make her smile.

I waited for that handsome guy for three hours; it was at 16 o’clock when everybody in the library watched the news in the TV, my secret love was being interviewed by a tall journalist. She asked him about his imprisoned friend, I didn’t know his best friend was in jail. Who would’ve thought that hot guy was a killer!? I wanna see what his insides look like; I bet he's not that pretty on the inside! I never imagined someone could do that to another person! He deserves to be in jail! Poor girl… Why he killed her!?

lunes, 7 de abril de 2008

I Think That Blew My Brains Against The Ceiling!

Girl_lover21 Says:

Hey! A miracle to catch you here!

P_000 Says:


P_000 Says:

Well, I hate this Messenger thing… But there’s nothing to do tonight

Girl_lover21 Says:

Yeah, same here

P_000 Says:

You won’t believe what happened today…!

Girl_lover21 Says:

Some other girl dumped you… lol

P_000 Says:

Well, sort of…

Girl_lover21 Says:

Hahaha I knew it! How??

P_000 Says:

I was flirting to a hot lady and a monster destroyed EVERYTHING!!

P_000 Says:

It was enormous!!

P_000 Says:

It was gigantic!! And I’m not talking about my penis!! Lol

Girl_lover21 Says:

Mmm … I bet you have a tiny worm down there!! Hahaha

Girl_lover21 Says:

What are you talking about?

P_000 Says:

The library has a monster as a secret pet!

Girl_lover21 Says:

Yeah … Right… And I’m virgin too…

P_000 Says:

ROFL!! But yes!! It’s true!! We all screamed when the damn roach jumped from the ceiling to my hand! And my scream, obviously, was the worst inside the crowded room!

Girl_lover21 Says:

OMG… I can’t believe we’re talking about a roach/monster and you screaming around…!! Haha

P_000 Says:

A girly voice came out from my body and a hundred eyes turn to watch the freaking queer in front of the colossus bug! It was me! I yelled like that and I don’t know why the hell I did it!

Girl_lover21 Says:

LMAO!! What did you do!?

P_000 Says:

I threw the monster through the people!! Hahaha!!

Girl_lover21 Says:


P_000 Says:

Yeah, it was insane lol

Girl_lover21 Says:

I’d give anything to hear you screaming like a fag!! Hahaha!

P_000 Says:

#30 had something to do with that horrible noise!! And you now what? That made me wake up! I have to stop thinking that my best friend is in love with me…!

Girl_lover21 Says:

Oh! I’m sure he is into that…!

P_000 Says:

Maybe you just think on gay things and why wouldn’t you do that?

Girl_lover21 Says:

What do you mean by that!?

P_000 Says:

I mean… you’re a lesbian…

Girl_lover21 Says:

You’re talking like I’m doing something wrpng

Girl_lover21 Says:


P_000 Says:

I’m just saying that I like to be the one who puts his dick into someone’s ass, not vice versa

Girl_lover21 Says:

OK… Sorry. I’ve been a little bit crazy lately…

P_000 Says:

Uh, Why?

Girl_lover21 Says:

Promise me that you won’t repeat a single word

P_000 Says:

Fine I promise

Girl_lover21 Says:

Remember the other day when I crashed with the ticket machine in the library?

P_000 Says:

Not really…

Girl_lover21 Says:

The day I told you #30’s girlfriend spanked me! (I love that nickname lol)

P_000 Says:

Lol I like it too…

P_000 Says:

Yeah, he didn’t laugh with that joke

Girl_lover21 Says:

OK, it wasn’t much of a joke… In fact, we’ve been dating for two weeks

P_000 Says:


Girl_lover21 Says:


P_000 Says:

Yeah …

P_000 Says:

Wait! But they were still together last week!

Girl_lover21 Says:

I know… She was confused about everything

Girl_lover21 Says:

I told her to break up with him but she was so insecure that I threatened her to stop seeing each other

P_000 Says:

OK, as far as I know, he broke up with her

Girl_lover21 Says:

Yes, lucky me!

P_000 Says:

You have no soul

Girl_lover21 Says:


P_000 Says:

Guys don’t steal their friend’s girlfriend

Girl_lover21 Says:

I’m not a boy!!

P_000 Says:

But you like girls!!

Girl_lover21 Says:

But I’m still girly!! I’m just a girl who likes tits!!

Girl_lover21 Says:


P_000 Says:

Girl_lover21 Says:

Now what?

P_000 Says:

Nothing, I’m trying to understand you

Girl_lover21 Says:

Shut up… You’ll never understand

P_000 Says:

Watch the News Channel

P_000 Says:


Girl_lover21 Says:


P_000 Says: