lunes, 4 de febrero de 2008

You Know What They Do To Guys Like Me In College


This is so weird right now. My times with the ticket machine have been nice, but I can’t believe everything that happened since then! I mean, two girls are dead! I have to stop doing that! Waste my free minutes between classes, going to the library to take a little ticket and receive in change two corpses…! WOW! That’s not my idea of cool dates…

What the hell…! I’ll do it until I’ve found my true love! What a pussy comment…

The only thing I got to eliminate is my malice and lust for girls. One chick at a time to avoid the psycho behaviour will help, please.

Once having this self-conversation done, I could continue with my secret ritual: 1- Take out yesterday’s ticket, 2- Wait a few people to finish their copies and 3- Make magic. What magic? There was no fucking magic for me that day! The wizard was not in my personality that afternoon! I checked my number and the red electronic board showed the #30, which was quite right! But the freaking nerd with that same number wasn’t!

I didn’t expect that! What a twist! I needed to fix what was bothering my stud-style way to meet girls. So, I pushed an old woman and had no nerd to tackle because he was on my possible-new-ticket-girlfriend’s place! “Who are you?” I said with my hair brows showing a violent gesture, the guy answer me with a scared voice that it didn’t matter if I took his place if I would left him alone. That was the second time that someone in the library let me use my ticket first but I wouldn’t allow more dead people! So, I raised my head in sign of peace and permission to make him understand that everything was OK and he would have his copies first.

The nerd freed a big smile that I didn’t follow; I just wanted my number to be used with a girl. In fact, I went out the library with no copies for me and my recyclable #30 ticket. The next day would be a nice one to use that number, the end of the month was coming and I scored a 30 at History, everything pointed to that number, something huge was about to happen.

I left the building to accelerate the waiting and see the morning sooner. The computer made me stay awake for three long hours, finishing the History extra-point homework and checking my web profiles to keep a strong friendship with mostly people I won’t ever meet beyond fourteen photos, their favourite songs and long funny chats.

The World Wide Web it’s a great place to lie, live in, “meet” girls and touch your genitals in front of a camera. A person met another last night through the WWW and the next day the fucking paedophile dude raped the fifteen year old princess. I will never do that, I just accept people as “friends” to become popular somewhere and if you add me I’ll give you the greatest welcome ever!

Two hundred minutes to sleep, teeth wash, a coffee and poop quickly. That’s my secret recipe for a cool new day and it was done. My journey to college had begun. I forgot to print my History homework and my mom didn’t know (until then) how to send an e-mail! My extra points were as doomed as #93’s virginity, however, there was one last chance to save them and the library had the answer!

I had a dèja-vu while walked straight to the library-girl, a little skinny image made me wake up and it also complaint! The freaking #30 was by my side again! He was wearing the same old fucking smile he had yesterday; also a new haircut that revealed how far can anyone go in a desperate way to use a cool hairstyle but don’t have what it takes to have it.

“Thank you for a… add… adding me last night” those were his first words to dare to say before me. I just laughed while I told him how impossible that was; I checked my web profile and didn’t add a crappy boy like him! Unless he… Oh, my God! Damn you people with drawings instead of photos in their profiles! Damn you!

Four seconds were enough to put ninety nine offences in my mind to tell him, but (because it will always be a “but”) the nerd had the copies I needed in his loser hands!

History wasn’t an interesting class for me; even sleeping was an option during that class! Maybe that was the reason for me to have never seen that thin and smart guy behind me!

“Do you need these copies?” he asked with a funny nasal voice, off course I accept that I wanted those copies so badly! My score depended on them! I acted like he was my hero and my new idol, shacked one of his shoulders to show my approval and got really surprised when the situation turned even better! Those pink and perfumed pages weren’t his homework!

The chick with the hottest blue eyes in the university wrote every single word directly from her hands to those holy papers and sends her stupid pet to buy a folder for them! Since the moment I knew that I would do anything to become #30 from an idiotic slime into my best friend. With his help, I will have a new girlfriend and A as my never seen score in all of my future homework!

You’re my best friend, #30! It was true: that’s a lucky number! Take care and don’t go out! I don’t want you to catch a cold! See you in class and don’t forget to introduce me to your sexy master!

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